So I decided to dye it. I'd never dyed anything before aside from tie dye at summer camps, but I'd seen RIT dye at drugstores and had always wanted to try it. I also considered using natural dyes for this, but I've heard that it's hard to get really dramatic results with onions/tea/etc.
Isn't it surprising that pharmacies and hardware stores still carry this stuff? How many people dye their clothes any more? I imagine each store must sell about one package per month. Their website seems to be marketing to my demographic, so maybe there's some kind of underground dye revolution going on among the young folks.
I wanted to somehow unify the colors in the dress, and so I picked the midpoint between black, brown, red, and pink: purple. (Also, my choices were somewhat limited by what RiteAid had in stock: fire engine red, sunflower yellow, forest green, "denim" blue, mauve, black, and purple.) I didn't want the color to be too dark, so I mixed a third of the detergent into hot water with a lot of salt and a little detergent. I was surprised that you have to add soap to the mixture to get it to set, but I'm sure there's a good explanation for it. Unfortunately, I guess I didn't have enough water in this initial bath, or the water wasn't hot enough, because I later discovered that the salt and dye had not completely dissolved. As a result, there are some little speckles on the dress where dye pellets adhered to it in the initial dunk. But the pattern is so crazy that you can hardly tell.
I'm happy with the final results, though. The pattern still looks outlandish, but the palette is a lot more cohesive. And the process was fun. You could make it even easier by doing this in the washing machine (there are instructions for that, too, on the package), but we live in a big building with just two collective machines, and I was afraid I'd screw up the process and all our neighbors would end up with purple-tinged t-shirts. Someday I'll have my own machine, though, and then I definitely intend to try it that way. I also want to try shoe-dyeing sometime, but my current running shoes are still too new and nice to experiment with.
And that's not all I've been up to! But right now I have to go out and enjoy the long weekend, so next time: saft.